Thinking is great, it allows you to work through processes in your mind, it allows you to come up with ideas, it allows you to work things through and rationalise things that happen during the day, but it can be stubborn and nasty and block things when it wants to get its own way. In short the mind is a spoilt child stamping its feet to get what it wants and needs to be controlled.
I could compare it to having children and then persistently keeping on about things until you give in.
To constantly whining until you want to either scream or feed it to shut it up.
Yes I am talking about the perennial food issues that bug me again and again and why I can't control my mind for long enough so that I can beat the demons into submission.
I have aready been through the "I obviously dont like myself much" routine, that doesn't help, so shaming me into it doesn't work.
Nor it seems does reasoning.
Plenty of friends say the same words to me that I say to others and I just want to punch them in the face and tell them to shut the eff up.
I ALREADY KNOW IT
is what I want to scream
then a little quiet voice whispers "Then why don't you do it?"
Cue irritation and screaming fit, as i really don't know why I can't just do what I know is what I need to be doing. (Oh lord I hope that makes sense to you as it does to me)
The reality is, I, like most other people, KNOW what the issues are.
WE KNOW what we need to do to fix it, whatever IT is, and yet we DONT do what we know would be good.
We keep going with the path of spoilt child silencing and least resistance, and then beat ourselves up yet again.
There must be some payback for sticking in the same position and whining about the same things time and time again. If the rewards for staying stuck are greater than the rewards for change (or is it fear of change leading to different rewards)
Anyway I need to stop thinking, it hurts
Off to find some mind control training, catch you later.
Wednesday, 28 January 2015
Monday, 5 January 2015
New Year New Blog Post
Well, everyone else is doing is and jumping on the bandwagon so why not start again for the New Year and see how long before this effort filters out. (That is the positive start to the New Year honest)
A bit like any New Year resolutions, it all starts with great enthusiasm, then begins to wobble a little, then finally oh drat it is blown, might as well go off the rails before starting again.
Yet another cycle begins.
This year I want to make that a bit different, but in spite of my willingness to begin again with a clean slate, I find I still punish myself regularly by telling me I am not worth the effort, otherwise why else would I start a healthy way forward and then slip off the rails and fail badly.
Mindset maybe, not food choices?
Is that the problem. I think therefore I am (Fatter than I should be) or maybe I should just say I am what I am and whatever happens is me.
I typically find that January is not a good time to start with all this New Year New Me stuff. So I tend to keep my will power for the Lenten Period, starting on Ash Wednesday and ending at Easter. I am not a religious person yet for some reason that 46 day period resounds with my willpower and gives me a determination to succeed at whatever it is I have chosen to do.
This makes me think that "long term goals" are scary and a January 1st resolution leads to "Oh my word there are 365 days until the next New Year will I be able to stick to it" rather than Let's just see what January does for us, then work on the next section. So small goals bite sized chunks, not trying to do too much at once and allow my brain to settle into a "Can do" rather than "Should do" mode.
So onwards and upwards with my planning for Lent and in the meantime I am upping my exercise and reducing my unhealthy eating. No resolution, no beating myself up if i don't stick to anything. Just putting my mind into the "I am here and I am worth it" mode and getting on with it.
A bit like any New Year resolutions, it all starts with great enthusiasm, then begins to wobble a little, then finally oh drat it is blown, might as well go off the rails before starting again.
Yet another cycle begins.
This year I want to make that a bit different, but in spite of my willingness to begin again with a clean slate, I find I still punish myself regularly by telling me I am not worth the effort, otherwise why else would I start a healthy way forward and then slip off the rails and fail badly.
Mindset maybe, not food choices?
Is that the problem. I think therefore I am (Fatter than I should be) or maybe I should just say I am what I am and whatever happens is me.
I typically find that January is not a good time to start with all this New Year New Me stuff. So I tend to keep my will power for the Lenten Period, starting on Ash Wednesday and ending at Easter. I am not a religious person yet for some reason that 46 day period resounds with my willpower and gives me a determination to succeed at whatever it is I have chosen to do.
This makes me think that "long term goals" are scary and a January 1st resolution leads to "Oh my word there are 365 days until the next New Year will I be able to stick to it" rather than Let's just see what January does for us, then work on the next section. So small goals bite sized chunks, not trying to do too much at once and allow my brain to settle into a "Can do" rather than "Should do" mode.
So onwards and upwards with my planning for Lent and in the meantime I am upping my exercise and reducing my unhealthy eating. No resolution, no beating myself up if i don't stick to anything. Just putting my mind into the "I am here and I am worth it" mode and getting on with it.
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