#sweatember 2019 - 30 Day exercise Challenge (Cancer Research UK) Days 1-3

I am always in need of encouragement to get off my backside and do some exercise. With getting older (excuse) and suffering injuries (more excuses), the running seems to have slipped away, and boy is it hard to get back to it, especially with food being so nice and the waistline expanding to accommodate it all. And fitness levels at an all time low, in spite of regularly turning out to teach my own classes.

So along comes #sweatember, and I decided to see if I could motivate myself to get moving more.
The aim to push myself to do something every day, when I know how lazy I can get on some days. And if I am lucky, to be able to raise some money towards Cancer Research along the way.
If you want to back my attempt to keep moving for 30 days follow the link. I am hoping that someone will take pity on me and sponsor me to finish 30 days. At the end, who knows whether I will be in motivated mode, but I shall be blogging my progress, just for the record and accountability.

LINK : https://fundraise.cancerresearchuk.org/page/sue-takes-on-sweatember-85?fbclid=IwAR3a-_d-w0sn8yVyeyxtdPLwHetgE48VWkaAvfwn1LCZAonS4-kNgTJlns4


Currently on Day 3, so here are the first 3 days of effort.

Henry Ford was right

28/06/15
Today was the day my body decided to rebel.

Well it wasn't the first time, but really just the latest in a long line of reactions.

I am of course talking excesses of crap food stuffs, though to be fair, today's menu was probably filled with more healthy stuff than I have eaten in one meal for a while, so maybe thats what caused the rebellion?

So experiment...."sort myself out" and deal with my food issues. AKA get on a healthy track, has to start with immediate effect. 
Slowly but surely I am making myself more and more unhealthy, yet I know all the things I need to change to make everything work much better. I am very good at talking myself out of things and managing to self sabotage so I never get sorted. There has to be a pay off for it? What do I get from not sorting myself out? Time for some planning and meditative stuff.

So here comes the beginning of the latest set of determined actions (for the moment) that I can set myself up to fail or I can experiment with for a change and find out what works.

Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” ― Henry Ford

A kick up the bum?

OK food issues again.....well would you expect anything less.

Spur of the moment I decided to sign up to a Rachel Holmes - Kick Start Fat Loss online 14 day detox. This one was a tad more experimental than her usual offerings, as it involves some new ideas that will revolutionise the way people look at food and ways of dealing with both weight and health issues, and to create a long term lifestyle that is sustainable. All is based around real food and short hard hitting exercise programmes...... not a pill, potion or shake in sight.

There is so much more to it than just changing food so that you are dieting for a quick fix, this is a long haul style life change.
I highly recommend you check out her facebook pages and her website for more information. (Search KSFL - Rachel Holmes, or similar) It may not be for everyone, but for me it is the only thing that makes sense and I did look at the possibility of franchising and starting my own KSFL classes. But first I have to crack it myself and get over my slight VEG issue.

Yes.... you know me..... one of the big problems with starting off on the detox phase, or on any kick start phase, is that it almost entirely consists of good quality protein and VEG.....lots of it, though preferably green stuff, and the more green stuff the better.
I see downfall number 1.
But my aim, was to start retraining my eating habits slowly, and get myself on track to achieve some of this year's weight loss and fitness goals.

So how did I do on my 14 days? Well I started with enthusiasm, and the usual brain rebellion, so I went in kicking and screaming.
I started with the protein and veg as recommended, for my day 1 meals, and then we were almost immediately kicked into some intermittent fasting, so next meal was late lunch the following day.

Day 3 is usually where I start to get grumpy and irritable (yes more than usual) so I did cave in a bit to an errant ryvita that jumped out at me pinned me down and made me eat it, as my brain told me it would be fine (naughty voices are winning)

As ever the usual process is that my body starts shutting down as I am trying to make it eat things it doesn't want instead of the usual lovely tasty wheaty snacky things. (I have said my mind is wilful !) and on Day 4 I got to the point where I wanted anything but meat......I persevered, in a my own kind of way, and slipped a little more..... those pesky ryvita....... And I tried for a cup of tea, but absolutely hated it and chucked it away. Now thats sad, I love my cuppa.

On day 5 I slipped, ate a few things i shouldn't (I think that'll serve me right for reading other peoples comments about what they were cheating with so my brain started on the nagging me to eat that sort of thing, phase - bad voices again)

I was on a course all day on the Saturday Day 7, and funnily I wasn't actually that hungry, I took a packed lunch of Chicken and salad with avocado (Good fats are great and very filling) and while I needed to be fasting until later afternoon, had to enjoy lunch with the others at 1pm.

So week 1 ended with a 4lb weight loss and more importantly 6 inches on the combined measurements.

Week 2, however, did not fare so well, the anti Veg voices in my head were winning regularly and I must admit I gave in a few times to some utter rubbish, but immediately got back to it and managed not to keep off the rails for too long (damage already done though?)

I then struggled along in my own way to the end of the 2nd week with a further 1 1/2 lbs loss and another 1 1/2 inches gone. Not bad, all things considered.

Then came the "does anyone want to carry on" call, and you know I found myself putting my hand up and saying.....well actually, most of what I have been doing isn't so bad, I can deal with the fasting and the additional fat I am eating, I am not missing most of the savoury stuff I would normally eat, and in fact even turned down an offer of fish and chips to make a cajun turkey with salad and guacamole.

I have set myself some goals this year, and to be fair, I am never going to make them unless I change my ways and give it my best shot, so here I go learning more about what makes my body tick, what gives me the issues, what I can "get away with". There are also people within the online group I can learn from, so that in itself is a big help.

I am not after quick results, this has to be a long term plan, but I am after results, and I have given myself until the end of June to get to them. So for now, brain is being very co-operative and is starting to talk me out of bad things, instead of in to them. This can't be right? and it may not last, but for the moment I will take it and start working on what I can do to get myself to that lovely healthy lifestyle that means I can cope with anything.

Real food all the way, high fat too which is the best thing as that gives so much flavour and satisfies the taste buds, and I am concentrating on the green stuff. Slowly Slowly eh?

Oh and Lent starts this week, and typically I will set myself a Lent Challenge. This kick start was meant to kick me off ready for this, which I feel it has done.

So....... I think it will be more of the same for the next 7 weeks,  though not quite so restrictive, adding back some healthier options to the normal wheat based substances I know cause me issues, and for the next few weeks I am going to learn to listen to my body for what it needs and not my mind for what it is telling me I need.

Ooooh this is going to be a challenge.

Thinking is the New Evil

Thinking is great, it allows you to work through processes in your mind, it allows you to come up with ideas, it allows you to work things through and rationalise things that happen during the day, but it can be stubborn and nasty and block things when it wants to get its own way. In short the mind is a spoilt child stamping its feet to get what it wants and needs to be controlled.

I could compare it to having children and then persistently keeping on about things until you give in.
To constantly whining until you want to either scream or feed it to shut it up.
Yes I am talking about the perennial food issues that bug me again and again and why I can't control my mind for long enough so that I can beat the demons into submission.
I have aready been through the "I obviously dont like myself much" routine, that doesn't help, so shaming me into it doesn't work.
Nor it seems does reasoning.
Plenty of friends say the same words to me that I say to others and I just want to punch them in the face and tell them to shut the eff up.
I ALREADY KNOW IT
is what I want to scream
then a little quiet voice whispers "Then why don't you do it?"
Cue irritation and screaming fit, as i really don't know why I can't just do what I know is what I need to be doing. (Oh lord I hope that makes sense to you as it does to me)

The reality is, I, like most other people, KNOW what the issues are.
WE KNOW what we need to do to fix it, whatever IT is, and yet we DONT do what we know would be good.
We keep going with the path of spoilt child silencing and least resistance, and then beat ourselves up yet again.

There must be some payback for sticking in the same position and whining about the same things time and time again. If the rewards for staying stuck are greater than the rewards for change (or is it fear of change leading to different rewards)

Anyway I need to stop thinking, it hurts

Off to find some mind control training, catch you later.

New Year New Blog Post

Well, everyone else is doing is and jumping on the bandwagon so why not start again for the New Year and see how long before this effort filters out. (That is the positive start to the New Year honest)

A bit like any New Year resolutions, it all starts with great enthusiasm, then begins to wobble a little, then finally oh drat it is blown, might as well go off the rails before starting again.
Yet another cycle begins.

This year I want to make that a bit different, but in spite of my willingness to begin again with a clean slate, I find I still punish myself regularly by telling me I am not worth the effort, otherwise why else would I start a healthy way forward and then slip off the rails and fail badly.

Mindset maybe, not food choices?
Is that the problem. I think therefore I am (Fatter than I should be) or maybe I should just say I am what I am and whatever happens is me.

I typically find that January is not a good time to start with all this New Year New Me stuff. So I tend to keep my will power for the Lenten Period, starting on Ash Wednesday and ending at Easter. I am not a religious person yet for some reason that 46 day period resounds with my willpower and gives me a determination to succeed at whatever it is I have chosen to do.

This makes me think that "long term goals" are scary and a January 1st resolution leads to "Oh my word there are 365 days until the next New Year will I be able to stick to it" rather than Let's just see what January does for us, then work on the next section. So small goals bite sized chunks, not trying to do too much at once and allow my brain to settle into a "Can do" rather than "Should do" mode.

So onwards and upwards with my planning for Lent and in the meantime I am upping my exercise and reducing my unhealthy eating. No resolution, no beating myself up if i don't stick to anything. Just putting my mind into the "I am here and I am worth it" mode and getting on with it.

Starting again? Let's get Wet.

Well my sugar free September went well then....NOT!!!
So a different way to approach the eating habit changes is definitely needed.
I have scales that show me my weight, or rather how heavy my body is, as it doesn't discriminate between fat and muscle. Also my scales show "fat" and "water", one is too high, the other too low. (Guess which is which).
Anyway, October has begun, I need a new challenge, for me Water maybe is the way to start. So, Day 1 concentrating on upping my body water content.
Currently sitting at 42.1% Let's see if I can improve it by the end of the month, the target 47%.
The question then is will the one change make a difference to the other figures for Fat and Weight?
On your marks, get set, drink loads of Water.

Let's go round again!!!

The cyclical routine of  - consider a change, start change with enthusiasm, start losing enthisiasm, fall into bad habits due to weak will, beat self up for lack of willpower, slip into comfortable bad habits, justify with starting again next week, stop completely and rue the fact that yet another period of change has been completely undone and ineffective, plan next cycle and start again.
Sort of sums it up eh?
Don't think I missed a stage, but while the mind is still telling me I know what I need to do to get myself on track, the reality is my habits seem to have a will of their own.

I was away last week, yet I did try hard to keep myself on the straight and narrow as much as possible.
I made some lovely clean breakfast bars from one of Rachel Holmes KSFL 30 days detox recipe book and had those each day for my breakfast, and during the morning. (One bar lasted me for a few hours in small pieces).
Lunch was provided, Cold meats, salad, then a host of other salads that I don't actually like anyway (potato, cous cous etc), so in order to stave off the hunger, I chose a small piece of quiche and some cold curried rice as plate fillers.
Evening meal  was more tricky due to eating out and needing some filling food, so I chose reasonably wisely.
I had, Thai fish cakes with sweet potato chips and salad on one evening, and a small ham bubble and squeak with an egg on another and shared a £10 dinner for 2 from one of the big supermarkets, with roasted veg, lemon chicken and garlic mash for the other.
Small portions of most, with not eating much during the day, and I am sure things were going well. Then I got back home.
The train came off the rails a little, though I still tried to minimise it, I was getting back to being hungry out of habit.
It seems for me "going cold turkey" leads my brain to rebel, and as my willpower is weak, I am going to have to attack it in a different way.
My veg intake has become very low over the years, mostly through laziness and bad habit, so I feel that starting by sorting my Veg intake is for me a better way to tackle my seemingly neverending cycle.
I need to be forming new habits.
So, patience and habit re-training is where my focus needs to be. For long term effect I need to get cracking on the small things first, then once they are habits move on to the next ones.
I can see this project is going to take some time. But I am sure I am worth the effort it will need to get me back to more healthy eating habits and out of the destructive cycle I keep finding myself in.